Ready made excuses for when you are caught cheating (Female edition)

BeerDMan Shenanigans Leave a Comment

****Warning, in the very slight chance the initial rebuttal fails make sure to take them tatas out and bounce them around, this should distract him long enough for you to get away.

 

I wanted to see if it was true what they say, once you go black you never go back.

I didn’t have money for pizza and he said he had some pepperoni for me.

I was choking and the heimlich wasn’t working so he used his erect penis to dislodge the food piece into my stomach.

Would you believe he tripped and fell into me?

I thought it was just part of the DEEP tissue massage.

He said if I rubbed it enough a genie would grant me 3 wishes.

I ran out of tea bags for my morning tea and he said he could help with that.

I lost my keys and he was just trying to fish it out.

He said he knew a good way to help with my constipation, just plunge it out.

His dick was so big i figured he had to have been you babe.

I’ll do that one thing I always say no to if you can just forget this happened.

I was just fluffing him up so we could jump right into the three way once you got here.

I thought he was just a really high tech sex robot.

Wait… his isn’t VR porn?  No wonder it felt so real!

So this really isn’t the dance of his people, god damn it Paulo!!

He mentioned a casting couch and I thought he meant for a movie.

 

Disclaimer: These ready made rebuttals have a 75% success rate, there is no guarantee this will work in your situation. For best chance of success assess the situation, gauge the type of officer you are working with and use specific rebuttals accordingly. There has been extremely limited field testing (success percentage may be embellished) Side effects of using rebuttals could result in end of relationship/marriage, damage done to your home or vehicle, an appearance on Maury to figure out who the father is, flappy vag syndrome and or several STDs.



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