And we are that much closer to complete fucking chaos in this country. Beginning August 7, fans everywhere can get hitched at the flagship Las Vegas Cantina restaurant.
It was just yesterday that the wishes of so many Americans came to fruition when Taco Bell hosted its inaugural wedding for the winners of the Love and Tacos Contest. Dan Ryckert and Bianca Monda were the lucky couple who won the all expense paid trip to taco town.
As the couple slowly made their way down the taco chip laden carpet, after exchanging vows, you could see how happy and totally not ashamed they were. Dan and Bianca have paved the way for taco loving Americans everywhere to tie the knot at their favorite restaurant. The wedding will cost you around 600 dollars in total and includes a 15 seat reservation, custom merchandise for the bride and groom, Taco Bell champagne flutes, a taco 12 pack, a Cinnabon delights cake and best of all a bouquet of sauce packets.
Talk about getting married in style, become the envy of all of your friends by getting married at everyone’s favorite drunk food restaurant. Just make sure that if you are the one getting married to hold off on the food otherwise the honeymoon suite will end up smelling like Michael Moore’s taint.
Let me paint a picture for you of what a wedding at Taco Bell might be like. Women, I’m sure obese and sweaty from eating their food are excitedly waiting for the bouquet toss. As the bouquet of sauces takes flight there is fighting, you can hear the crunching of the tortilla chips from under foot. The bouquet is caught by 2 women, as they wrestle one woman’s sausage fingers slide down the bouquet, still greasy from her taco 12 pack. She makes one final effort to hold on to her false hope of a future marriage and grabs a sauce packet, making it explode. Taco Bell fire sauce is now in several of the herd’s eyes as they stampede around the restaurant in a blind fury they trample a child and 3 employees, leaving 3 dead and 1 injured. That’s what you get for paying 600 dollars to get married at a Taco Bell folks.